I was told there was a plan… promised, even. My Psychiatrist retired in December. She gave me a plan to deal with it, which included a few more appointments with my Psychotherapist, and six months of care through a Psychiatric Nurse. The Nurse would also act as a liaison between me and my Family Doctor and monitor my medications.
Working as a team, my Psych-Nurse, Psychotherapist, and Family Doctor would ensure that I had access to the system, so that I could be assigned a new Psychiatrist if and when I needed the care. It all sounded good to me.
It took about five weeks for the plan to completely fall apart.
First, my Psychotherapist and I got into a very bizarre, passive-aggressive argument over her interpretation of The Plan. Basically she feels The Plan wasn’t a Plan, it was just a very loose set of guidelines. Seeing another psychiatrist, she said, would be next to impossible. And even if I did somehow get back in the system, the wait to see another psychiatrist would be a long one.
Then my first and second appointments with the Psych-Nurse were cancelled. I was six-minutes late for the third scheduled appointment, and waited for her for another hour while the secretaries tried to track her down to no avail. I finally met her on the fourth appointment.
It did not go well.
We sat for only a short five minutes, and she only asked me four brief questions:
1. What did I learn from my Psychotherapist?
I answered: I learned a lot about my relationships with my family. Honestly, I was unprepared for questions. If anything, I was just expecting to talk about my pills and maybe something about her dealing with my Family Doctor.
2. What did I learn from my Psychiatrist?
I was totally unprepared for this one. I had to think hard to distill three or four years into a single thought, which I couldn’t do. I mumbled something about learning stuff about my medications and family and, like, you know, other stuff.
3. Was I having any side effects from the medications?
Finally, I thought, something she can help with. I told her that, at the moment, I wasn’t having any major side effects.
4. Was I stable?
I should have taken my time with this one, because it’s the worst question you can ask someone with a mental illness — we can be stable for a day, a week, a year, it can be totally random… you have to specify the time frame… but I was getting annoyed at the questions, and I was getting this huge “I don’t want to be here” vibe from her. So, instead I just blurted out “Yes”, thinking ‘this has been a good week’.
…that’s when she turned towards her computer, pushed a few buttons, and said “Well, you’re not having side effects, and you’re stable, so you won’t need me then. I’ll be closing your file.”.
I was stunned. Looking back on it, I was actually in shock. I still am. Everything was coming apart, and now two of the people who were supposed to help me get back into the system, were actively pushing me out of it.
She got up and opened the door, she must have seen how shocked I was because she put her hand on my back and told me “Trust yourself.”. On the short walk to the door to the reception area, she told me that three more times. “Just trust yourself”.
Based on a five-minute consultation she closes my file, whatever that’s supposed to mean, pats me on the back, and tells me I’m on my own..
I am not fucking stable. Not like she means. Not enough to be on my own. But I didn’t speak up. So now it’s on me, I’m the one who used the wrong phrasing, I’m the one who gave her the opening. I’m the one who didn’t understand the consequences of being glib. I’m the one who now has to fight to get back in on my own. And I resent being put into this position.
I’ve called my Psychotherapist, and left a message demanding to be hooked up with another Psych-Nurse, but that was a few days ago and I haven’t heard anything back. I made the point that I was promised six months of care, and received only five minutes. Which, at this point, seems to be the only recourse I have — to rely on a technicality and on someone who doesn’t think I need any additional support, to get me more support.
01
06
...salted lithium. 
Healthcare is so jacked.
And what a completely inept nurse to just be like “oh. He’s stable TODAY. Must mean he’s totally cured. YAY US!!”
Over one 5min visit. 🤬
Makes me want to swear. A lot. And then violent yelling.
I know that Canadian Healthcare seems to be as actively screwing up as the US in terms of mental health, and for that, I’m so sorry that you’re caught in the cross hairs. There has to be SOMETHING that you can do!
Thinking of you, buddy. This is ridiculous.
First: HEATHER!! Welcome back!
Second: There’s good news and bad news… the good news is my psychotherapist called back on Friday, apologized for being so late in getting back to me, and agreed that things were moving too fast.
The bad news is, she set up another appointment with the same psych-nurse who gave me a five minute diagnosis the last time. The other one, the one I was supposed to talk to in the first place, is unavailable. And I won’t see her until the end of April. So I’m not expecting much.
I know how screwed up medical care is, I would get an appointment for another Psychiatrist. You may need for a while which means you have to deal with the crap they put out. Try another go at it but use sugar. Demanding may throw you to the bottom of the list. Start the conversation with ” I need your help”. That’s my lead in, it hopefully raises their self esteem and you get personal treatment. They are so used to being talked bad about, using a positive approach may help. Have a great day. Best of luck. 🙂
Thanks for the comment, Melinda. I appreciate the advice.
Do you ever feel like you need to something off the scale to get any recognition?
…when I was first diagnosed, I spent more than three weeks in a psych-ward because I was suicidal. I’ve been suicidal since then, but never went back to the Ward because, at the time, I never had anybody in a position to help to tell.
Yes, in the way-back past I’ve thought about downing a bunch of pills and calling 911, or other ways and means, in order to have someone take me seriously. But, here anyway, all you really have to do is show up at an ER and tell them you’re suicidal. You’ll (eventually) get to see the psychiatrist on duty, and from there you’ll get into the system as an outpatient.
Thanks for the question, RochdaleStu.
It’s wrong though isn’t it. It’s the same in the UK. I have been turned away 3 times from the Psych ward due to no beds. I was left each time at the hospital at 3am or so and then what. Twice I got a lift home from the police who had taken me there and the third time I walked home (3 hours or so walk) completely off my tits I loved every footstep
…it’s definitely wrong. It’s all backwards.
Case in point: in Canada, the Supreme Court made a decision a few years ago that legalized “Medical Assistance in Dying”, or MAiD, for people with diagnosed terminal illnesses. The original intent, from what I can tell, was that people who had no more expectation of a pain-free quality of life, and a terminal diagnosis, could have a Doctor help them die.
But now, the Courts and the Government of Canada have taken the position that Mental Illness “can cause the same level of suffering as that of physical illnesses.” So the idea is to expand MAiD to include those people, like us, who have a mental illness.
The change to the MAiD law was supposed to happen in March, 2024, but the weirdest thing happened… the Provincial Governments (who run health care in Canada) realized they don’t have anywhere close to enough infrastructure to diagnose or treat Mental Illnesses to the degree that the MAiD law needs to be at. So they need to increase funding for mental-health care in their Provincial Jurisdictions in order for MAiD to take effect.
So, basically, Mental-Health Care in Canada has to get funded to the point where we all get the services available to people receiving non-mental health care — including easy (relatively) access to doctors, and hospital beds, and medications — in order for a law that we can use to suicide ourselves legally can take effect.
Crazy, crazy stuff.
Mate that’s crazy
Mate that’s absolutely bonkers. Personally I think if a person is in so much pain that they want to die then they should have the option to do so via healthcare facilities. Suicide for example is the biggest killer for males my age (18-50) in the UK. The term “committed” suicide shouldn’t be used as the word “committed” is related to negative behaviours. It’s not right and it really annoys me. People are taking their own lives because they’re not receiving the support from the health professionals, rehabilitation facilities, support for money issues or anything else. In the UK we like to shout about the problems and the fact that they are doing something about it but in actual fact they’re not doing fuck all. During the Covid-19 pandemic more people in the uk died from suicide than from covid but you won’t find anything about that in the published press releases
That sounds absolutely maddening.
I hope you get another chance sooner rather than later.
Healthcare sucks.
I deal with an NP that doesn’t believe half of the things I say.
At least he feels very apprehensive about them.
He’s also marked in my chart that I haven’t had any hallucinations since the last session with him three months ago.
Which is seriously just a lie, because I explicitly talk about my current or recent hallucinations with him at every visit, he just doesn’t pay attention.
These “doctors” need to get it together, it’s a total shitshow, and I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with these horrible miscommunications, it happens to me too.
Same, but different.
I wish you peace. ✨
Mental-health care does suck. I’ve been very lucky when it comes to having decent Psychiatrist in my corner over the years. But the current (Conservative) Provincial Government is cheating… instead of investing more funding into the system, it’s chopping up the current system in a way that makes it seem we’re getting more “bang for the buck”. Basically they’re making it harder to find basic care, then only allowing for six months of care from a Psychiatrist, or a Psychoanalyst, or a Psych-Nurse, instead of the years of care we used to receive. So it looks like more people are getting into the system, but we only receive a fraction of the care we need, and then we’re kicked to the curb.
I wish you peace as well, Keren.
That sounds counterproductive on the systems part.. and horrible for the patient. The system in the states isn’t any better. Insurance changes every year and that means a new primary care doctor almost every year. It’s stupid. Sorry you’re having to deal with that. Sounds horrible. I hope you can get something else figured out soon ✨
Sometimes I think people are becoming another set of numbering statistics. “Okay, this one can be added to the doing good file.” “Hmm, this one can be added to the not so good pile.” Crunch the numbers. Do the report and maybe make a quota. Release the numbers. There, we did our part, our duty. Next!
When the compassion is taken out of actually helping someone, it doesn’t bode well. Seems like the caring part of the health care system has been fading, especially when needed the most.
Sorry to hear about your dilemma. I pray that things work out for you, Gabriel. And for others.