No Beaver For Me

“Four of the five nominees are genuine medical professionals (including one dentist’s office in Windsor), offering good sound advice on staying healthy. The remaining one, Salted Lithium, describes one person’s long walk away from depression. That one has my vote, because of the strength of the voice at its core.”
“The Greatest Canadian Blog – Part V – Part III”; Bow. James Bow.

The Canadian Blogging Awards for Best Health Blog were announced Sunday night… finally. And I came in fourth. that's right...Unfortunately, since only the top three positions get the right to put a smiling beaver into their sidebar, I won’t be having one.

Since it was basically a popularity contest it all came down to how many people were willing to give up thirty seconds of their life to vote. Which is cool, I totally understand most of you were busy that week, and I’m not going to get into blaming anyone specific for my loss. Mostly because naming the people I blame would totally screw up my chances of winning next year.

So I’m blaming communists.

The blogs which did win are actual Health Blogs written, researched and maintained by people who actually have an educated opinion about what they’re writing about. So that probably helped them a little.

1. Weighty Matters:
“A family physician who opened the Bariatric Medical Institute in April 2004”

2. Arya M. Sharma, MD:
“the Professor of Medicine & Chair for Cardiovascular Obesity Research and Management at the University of Alberta, Edmonton, Canada. He is also the Medical Director of the Edmonton Capital Health Region’s interdisciplinary Weight Wise Program.”

3. Marijke: nurse turned writer:
“Covers health issues that might be interesting to the non-health care worker audience.”

All three of them are in my sidebar, two of them have been there almost since I knew I had been nominated. Obviously the extra exposure I gave them proved to be my downfall.

I’m sure I’ll get over my disappointment, but just to make sure I’ve got a serious chance at winning next year I’d like to introduce you to the new concept for my blog… “the weight loss struggle of an anonymous three-time winner of the Nobel Prize of Medicine who also has two really hot nurse assistants who like to take photos around the office.”

…someday I will have a smiling beaver of my own. Someday I’ll be able to use the dozens and dozens of beaver double entendres I’ve been scribbling in my notebook for the past two weeks. Someday.

Thank you very much to those who did vote. Seriously.




About Gabriel...

...diagnosed with manic depression when I was nineteen, for the next 14-years I lived without treatment or a recovery plan. I've been homeless, one time I graduated college, I've won awards for reporting on Internet privacy issues, and a weekly humour column. In 2002 I finally hit bottom and found help. It's now 2022, and I have an 8-year old son, and a 12-year old son... I’m usually about six feet tall, and I'm pretty sure I screwed up my book deal. I mostly blog at
This entry was posted in Awards, crazy people with no pants, Health. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to No Beaver For Me

  1. Congrads, any way you look at it!!!!

  2. thordora says:

    Maybe have Nurse Gimrack posing with her corsets for you next time? 🙂 (I spelled something wrong I kow it)

  3. zoom says:

    I know fourth out of five doesn’t sound that good (I came in fourth last year, so I know) but really it’s fourth out of all the blogs in Canada, which is really very impressive.

    And you’re still #1 in my book Gabriel.

  4. Issa honour just to be nominated, no?

    No way it could stand up to “funniest man in Canada”.

  5. bromac says:

    Sorry, dude

  6. Gabriel... says:

    I feel like I’ve been gang-hugged. Thanks. I’ll do my best in the next twelve months, so that this time next year I’ll deserve to have a smiling beaver in my sidebar… but I kind of like how the one in this post looks, so maybe the awards people will let me put it in my sidebar for a little while. Kind of like a pity beaver… or, if it were a seal and I spoke French, a merci phoque.

    Justin: the award I did win, so long ago, wasn’t “funniest man in Canada”, it was “in Ontario”… which is far more prestigious. It’s like concentrated goodness.

  7. Hi Gabriel,

    Great job with the blog.

    I would absolutely throw your version of the award in the side blog – and I wouldn’t ask as you’ve earned it.

    Best regards,
    Yoni (from Weighty Matters)

  8. Hella Stella says:

    You had my vote, of course… Nobody else deserves that beaver more!

    Um. That sounds bad.

  9. Gabriel... says:

    Thanks Yoni… Dr. Freedhoff… Hoff. And thanks for coming over to comment. I think I’ll probably end up with the smiling beaver in my sidebar for a little while, at least until the pain subsides.

    Thanks Stella, and that sounds perfectly reasonable to me… I totally agree that I deserve as much beaver many beaver awards as people are willing to give.

  10. wnature says:

    Hi Gabriel,
    You wuz robbed!

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