No Post Day | Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

We may not always put them to their best use but the genes in my family are pretty good. However, there’s a definite possibility I’m losing my hair… which should make my little brother happy.

On my mother’s side there’s definitely male-pattern baldness going on. My uncle, and my grandfather were both left with the horseshoe pattern before they were fifty. My grandmother has been wearing wigs since before I was born, and my younger brother’s hair has been visibly receding for a few years now.

On my father’s side there’s a few burnt out counterrevolutionary’s running around with most of their hair, albeit some of them have been left with the tight, pencil-width ponytail. From what I remember my grandfather still has most or all of his hair left.

For the past few years I’ve been getting my haircut every five months, but I’ve decided to let it grow back to where it was four years ago. Except for a couple of high school “scene/emo” kids this means, for a dude, I now have the longest hair in my village…

I’m not sure if I’m doing this because I’m sick of having short hair, or because there’s a part of me getting prepared to have a proper comb over.

I still haven’t decided what I’d do if I start losing the hair. My brother has gone with the “shaved head” response. My friend Justin has gone all the way bald, but he’s got the thick beard/goatee going.


So my questions, for anyone willing to play along, is:

For both the ladies and the dudes: what would your response to hair loss be, or what has it been?

Bonus points: If you could have anyone’s hair, whose hair would you have?




About Gabriel...

...diagnosed with manic depression when I was nineteen, for the next 14-years I lived without treatment or a recovery plan. I've been homeless, one time I graduated college, I've won awards for reporting on Internet privacy issues, and a weekly humour column. In 2002 I finally hit bottom and found help. It's now 2022, and I have an 8-year old son, and a 12-year old son... I’m usually about six feet tall, and I'm pretty sure I screwed up my book deal. I mostly blog at
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25 Responses to No Post Day | Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

  1. Hella Stella says:

    I’m always more interested in whether someone seems comfortable in their own skin… I would only be bothered by someone’s baldness if they were visibly trying to hide it. Baldness on its own doesn’t bug me at all. Toupes drive me nutty though!

    Funny story… When my parents were first dating, my dad asked my mom to give him a trim. She took this as a chance to get rid of his hideous combover, and chopped it right off. Apparently he nearly had a heart attack he was so upset. He was clinging to that thing like it was the end of his youth. He is now comfortably bald.

    I kinda like Pink’s hair, even though I don’t think I’ve ever heard her music.

  2. Gabriel... says:

    I like Pink… she’s got a sense of humour.

    “He was clinging to that thing like it was the end of his youth.”

    That’s pretty much it… as long as there’s still one way to tilt your head so your hair looks the same as it did back in college, the combover stays. I don’t blame your father at all for hanging on to that piece of himself. But there is a time for changing things up.

  3. Gabriel, when I lost a patch of my hair in the front, my response was to get it all cut off. I went from very long hair to very short hair, because the front looked so bad and wasn’t going to grow in well. It is growing back in, but it has a different texture and a lot of the hair there is now grey! I might want to get it dyed purple. I like Shakira’s hair. That’s kind of what mine can look like when it’s long.

    My husband’s response to hair loss is to use Shampoo Cre-C. It’s made of herbs that are supposed to make your scalp healthier.

  4. Gabriel... says:

    That sounds very traumatic. When mine starts to go I’m planning on trying the Rogaine option for awhile. I think my mom used Rogaine for awhile… she and I have very “fine” hair, and hers started to thin out about ten years ago. If it works, great, but if it doesn’t then I’ll probably wear hats for a few years before giving in and just growing the beard and shaving my head clean… so I’ll probably end up looking like Jeff Bridges in Iron Man.

    I have to say, I’m a big fan of Shakira’s hair.

  5. thordora says:

    Lop it off. I cannot STAND bald spots, I really can’t. Then again, I much prefer men shaved bald so….bias.

    If I could have hair, I’d actually have a different head so I can keep it SUPER short without looking like a houseiwfe in a bad way. Shaved it down once at 17. NOT GOOD.

  6. Gabriel... says:

    I got a buzz cut when I graduated from College. It felt cool, but it didn’t last.

    I think one of the problems is going to be the magnitude of my huge Scottish head. If I go bald anyone shorter than I am will need extra doses of Vitamin D because my dome will reflect back so much sunlight. I’m not sure our country can afford to be handing out free mega vitamin doses in these difficult economic times.

  7. scottgladstone says:

    Uhm I once died – intentional spelling- mine black. Big mistake.
    I am going to let it isn grow out properly. I like my long hair.
    But when I go bald its getting shaved.
    Hair I’d want? Jonathan Coulton has a good look going.

  8. giannakali says:

    both my brothers had complete baldness on the tops of their head by the age of 30…they were VERY visibly balding all through their 20’s. My younger brother hated it with a passion and once I patted him on the head and he nearly punched me…I hadn’t realized it was such a sensitive issue, but, of course, now in hindsight, I can imagine for a young man it’s pretty traumatizing…

    He’s actually a really good looking guy and very confident and so got a very beautiful wife in spite of it…I don’t think baldness matters…

    My own situation is that I’ve always had extremely thin hair…strangely enough, or maybe not so strange, now that I take a ton of nutrients my hair is better than it has ever been. It’s still thin but it shines really nice and has more body and I think there is more of it now too…my nails thickened up nicely too and my skin improved as a result of supplements.

    As far as my ideal head of hair…I would take lots of long curls…my hair looks best relatively short because there is not a ton of it…

    who??? represents someone with such hair??

    I saw her out in my town not long ago!! But a famous person?? Maybe Elaine from Seinfeld…what the heck is her name…oh…Julia something or other Dreyfus?

    maybe something like this:

    with just a bit less frizz…I like shine which is one thing I already have!

    okay, now I have to get to ready your last post which I’ve put off because it seemed heavy and I wasn’t up to heavy…


  9. thordora says:

    I have a giant dutch head. I understand.

  10. dame says:

    If i were a guy in the shedding process, i’d go with the Gallagher look, but i’m giddy like that.

    If i could have anyone’s hair?

    Oh, Don King for sure. Absolutely. Don King!

    Peace, mister.

  11. bromac says:

    In college I had my red hair was super short and spiky, and after college it was even shorter and in a boy style. If/when I start to lose my hair, I am sure I will go short again.

    My mom and grandma, on her side, both have thin hair that falls out. My father, at 59, has a full head of gorgeous silver hair, and a full beard. Unfortunately, only my youngest brother got his hair. His mother had a thick head of hair until her third bout with cancer.

    My husband shaves his bald and has for years, rather than the comb over. He also has beard-ish face hair.

    I hate a comb over. The worst comb-over, though you probably won’t know this person Gabe, is Tony Kornheuser (sp?) from ESPN. The man drives me crazy on his own, and his comb over just adds to the supreme annoyance he garners in me.

  12. bipolarlife says:

    An eyebrow comb-over! Ha! I shaved my head once to see what I would look like with no hair. Other than having a faint birth mark that looks like south America I looked fine so I have no fear of losing my hair. Which is good because it has thinned out over the years.

    Looks like you have quite a bit of hair.

  13. Jennifer says:

    I agree with bipolarlife above — it looks like you have quite a bit of hair still. My husband’s hair is thinning. It doesn’t bother me, however, because I know I’m getting older at the exact same rate! He has very dark hair so I can actually see his white scalp when he cuts it really, really short since there is such a contrast. Maybe lighten your hair a notch???? But whatever you do don’t comb it over because comb-overs strike me as a desparate attempt to go against nature. I am definately much more likely to notice a CO than a bald head. It seems better to wear a hat then, I suppose.

  14. Jennifer says:

    Oh, my hair is very fine. I have naturally curly red hair. I don’t brush it and I don’t wash it. Well, I “wash” it with a huge fist full of conditioner about twice a week. My only comb is my hand with its fingers. I’ll rinse it with either beer for body or water and epsom salt to remove product/gel build-up. You should know that 99% of shampoos contain Sodium Laureth Sulphate – an aggressive foaming agent which strips the oil and can corrode hair follicles. If your hair is thinning you want as many healthy follicles as possible. Eat lots of protein and get some brewer’s yeast for the B vites. Good luck!

  15. Gabriel... says:

    Hi bipolarlife. I mostly put the shot up to illustrate how long my hair has gotten… the shot I was originally going to use did highlight what I think is the growing separation between hairline and eyebrows, but I chickened out.

    I’m not really sure what stage, if any, my hair loss is in. The last time I saw my brother, five months ago, one of the first things he told me was my hair was thinning around my forehead and temples. So since then, of course, I’ve been trying to keep track. Little bastard.

    Bonjour bromac. I definitely know who Tony Kornheiser is… we get PTI on the Canadian sports cable channel, TSN, which is co-owned by ESPN. Plus I watch a lot of the NFL. His ‘shout-outs’ to Canada at the end of the PTI shows are cute, but he can be annoying during Monday Night Football. You’re right, his comb over is silly… but old school.

    I’m a huge fan of short hair on women… especially spiked. I think that could have been why I started going to punk shows way back in the day.

    I’m kind of glad, Dame, that the Gallagher look seems to be pretty much dead around here. It’s like the ultimate mullet… I should post a photo of my own super-mullet sometime.

    Hi Gianna. Julia Dreyfus does have great hair… George always had a problem with his baldness, but he never really did the comb-over. There was that one episode where he bought a wig… wow, the difference was amazing. Hair health is definitely tied into body health, so I’d think eating healthy and making sure all of the things which makes our body healthy are in our bodies would make a difference.

  16. Lydia says:

    I can’t imagine. I’ve always had enough hair for three people. Sorry to those whose share I may have gotten.

  17. I had good hair, once, in university. Then, after I had a car accident, I had these two parallel marks on my face that served as dipsticks to mark the recession of my hairline.

    I think it’s been six years since I took the plunge and shaved off my traitorous hair. I miss it on occasion. I had great hair when I had it. Thick curly locks.

  18. nursemyra says:

    I love a shaved head Gabriel. when the time comes just shave…..

  19. nursemyra says:

    … and if I could have anyone’s hair perhaps I’d choose audrey hepburn’s. Long or short, it always looked beautiful.

  20. Clare says:

    Shave your head and bleach your eyebrows TOTALLY WHITE (keep growing them out) and grow out the beard too, just don’t do it at home.
    Grrr! WILDMAN! That would look so freaky-cool.
    Have your eyebrows professionally-bleached preferably by someone in the movie biz. They could probably weave in some extensions too.

    Maybe you could do a turn in a movie–a trans-American road trip from “tip top” Canada to the Louisiana Coast with your good buddy, Me. Yeah, a buddy picture–only not “Dumb and Dumberer: The Penultimate Sequel.” Yeah—maybe a road trip that would later turn into a coffee-table book: words and pictures. But you’ve got to have the look. Don’t worry about how I will look. This whole dream of mine is a valid and intriguing psycho-social experiment! I will document the looks of utter shock on the faces of strangers. It will be sublime art.

    Yeah. You have a very interesting look. Yes…do seek out a professional hair and makeup team (if not from Hollywood then from the circus) and possibly Sarah Palin’s wardrobe stylist–who is looking for a gig.

    And for heaven’s sake don’t hire the monkey. You know the trouble he caused last time!!!

    (Not manic just an insomniac)

  21. Clare says:

    I mean don’t bleach the eyebrows at home. You can grow your beard at home. It’s alright.

  22. Gabriel... says:

    I always wanted Billy Idol’s hair… so bleaching my eyebrows is a possibility. Living in the city, I have to say, makes it much easier to screw around with the hair. I’ve spiked my hair pretty high a few times since I moved back to my wee village, but the overwhelming hairstyle of choice here is “1950’s farmer short”.

    Clare, a road trip following the Acadians has always been something I’ve wanted to do… so a sublime road trip to Louisiana is in the plan.

  23. Clare says:

    Laissez les bon temps rouler!

  24. Gabriel... says:

    Bien sur.

    I’ve got the French name, the French roots and the French inability to shave, but the first French I ever really learned came from going to hockey games… “s’il vous plaît, donne moi deux chien chaud avec un bière froid. Merci.”

  25. Clare says:

    That sounds delicious! Roar!

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