Flowers Make CSG Cry And Other Things I Learned On Our First Date

We had our first official date on the weekend. Until now whenever Convenience Store Girl (CSG) and I (I) got together it was either at her store for a few minutes while I paid for my orange juice, or in my apartment, where we listen to music, talk, then watch a movie until she falls to sleep.

We did go out for lunch on Wednesday, and then for a walk along the river, but I didn’t really feel like I had asked her out specifically on a date. It felt like there could still be room for a misunderstanding, so during the car ride home I turned to her and asked if she’d like to go out… like, on a date.

“So… would you like to have lunch with me on Saturday?”

“Sure. That sounds great.”

“…okay, but like, on a date?”

She laughed at the way I said “date”. Later on that night we had our first kiss. And then a whole bunch of others. I wasn’t really keeping count.

…this is interesting, I’ve never written about a current girlfriend on Salted. I’ve only dated two other women since starting this blog, and each time both of them were reading and commenting…

So on Saturday I took her to a local tea room owned by a friend of my family. She makes great sandwiches and desserts. It’s really the only place in town that has an atmosphere approaching ‘romantic’. I met CSG at her apartment door and handed her a small but bright bouquet of flowers from a local florist.

And she started to cry. She had never received flowers before. Ever.

She started dating her soon-to-be ex-husband (STBEH) in high school, they moved in together after a month, then after four years they got married. Four years later he has yet to buy her flowers. What a fucking tool.

My plan is to buy her a lot more of them.

Over the weekend she told me a bit about her marriage. She had breakfast ready for her STBEH when he woke up, his lunch was in a brown bag for when he left for work, dinner on the table when he got home, made sure his friends had a fridge full of beer on the weekends and the house kept immaculate at all times. She’s thirty, but she was living in the 1930’s.

Last year she found out he had recently cheated on her, so she punched him — breaking his nose, divided the house in half and got a lawyer. Since then she has also dropped sixty-five pounds.

Mostly, she says, by eating salads. But she also works with her father cutting wood, and roofing and other “light” construction stuff.

When I was fifteen I spent a few weeks splitting a couple of dozen cords of wood with a sledgehammer and a wedge. One of the worst working experiences of my life. She spent two days in the bush recently with her dad swinging a sledgehammer and cutting wood.

She’s also done some roofing over the past few years. Kerr Ray Zee.

She’s also getting six to eight hours of sleep on a regular basis for the past ten days. She’s been a hardcore insomniac for the past ten years, or more. But since we started talking about her sleep problem, and since I bought her some melatonin supplements, she’s getting the best sleep since she was a kid.

She keeps saying it’s because I relax her… so I tell her I’m perfectly willing to let her use my body. Then, generally, she calls me “boyishly handsome” and fall to sleep.

It’s actually freaking her out. She’s waking up with an energy she’s never had, but she’s also lost four to six hours from her day because she’s sleeping now.

Waking up is something new to her as well. She’s never had a hard time getting up in the morning, so that early morning grogginess is making her worried… like there’s something wrong with her. She asked me about it the other day, like she was afraid she might be getting sick or something.

One thing she’s getting better at is recognizing “feeling sleepy” means “time for bed”.

CSG is also a Metal Head. Which is way cool with me, Metal is like Punk without the politics. But I did get a little freaked out when she told me she didn’t like Elvis.

The only problem we seem to be having is I feel like I’d like to take a week off from our two week relationship. I’ve gone from having no one but family in my life — and that was only on Sunday, to having someone constantly in my life. It feels like a huge distraction… but I’m not sure from what, exactly.

I guess one thing is I generally need time to myself even before I start to write… once I actually start writing I need certain things to be a certain way. So even when she’s sleeping here I have a hard time getting anything done. I fully admit I can become irritable when I feel like I should be writing and there’s something preventing me from getting it done… it feels like a sugar craving.

It’s just something new to work through. I’m sure I’ll find some kind of balance. I think, if that’s the only thing I can find to complain about right now, we’re doing alright.

Actually I’m a little freaked that she knows almost everyone in town. It really feels like when I’m walking through town people are smiling at me… like they know a little secret. And that always drives me nuts.

I’m taking her out for dinner tonight (Tuesday), but I’m not sure where yet… and then we’ll be in Ottawa for dinner and a movie on Friday. Her favourite restaurant is A&W.

I don’t know why people don’t buy more flowers.

Oh… right, as we were finishing lunch at the tea room I thought I heard my mom’s voice behind me, and asked CSG to describe the speaker. She told me it was the owner… so wrong. It was my mom and step-dad. They had been in the restaurant with us the whole time (it’s small, but shaped like a sideways L). So, on our first date, CSG got to meet my parents.

As payback she left me in her kitchen alone with her father last night.

.

...thanks.

.

About Gabriel...

...diagnosed with manic depression in 1989, for the next 14-years I lived without treatment or a recovery plan. I've been homeless, one time I graduated college, I've won awards for reporting on Internet privacy issues, and a weekly humour column. In 2002 I finally hit bottom and found help. I have an 8-year old son, and a 4-year old son... I’m usually about six feet tall, and I'm pretty sure I screwed up my book deal. I mostly blog at saltedlithium.com....
This entry was posted in Bipolar, crazy people with no pants, CSG, Health, Living With Depression, Living With Manic Depression, Manic Depression. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Flowers Make CSG Cry And Other Things I Learned On Our First Date

  1. thordora says:

    I think I LIKE this woman. 🙂

    Lots of guys I know complain about buying flowers-they’ll just die, blah blah. They don’t get the point that PRETTY THINGS MAKE WOMEN HAPPY! I love flowers! They brighten my entire day.

    Of course, I now buy my own since I can’t be bothered to wait, but we’ve been married forever, and a few surprises have gotten him out of that doghouse.

    I always need a break from new people, to process. It sounds like she might get that if you explain it to her..

    I baled hay for a day once, and swore I would never do that ever again. Compared to her, I’m such a lightweight. 😛

  2. raino says:

    women like massages too….i’m just sayin’. for some reason i find it hilarious that you met your parents and so did she!

    how coincidental!

  3. R says:

    No flowers, ever? Seriously? Wah. Where do these guys come from?

    You go, Gabe.

  4. giannakali says:

    I’ve got a good husband and I’ve been with him for 10 years….he bought me flowers for the first time a couple of months ago…red roses…

    It’s always irritated me that he’s never bought me flowers..and I said something in passing about it one day…and in a few days he bought my first bouquet…in any case he’s not a tool…just not terribly romantic that way.

    and he did buy them pretty much immediately after I mentioned it and that was not my intention…

    blah blah…

    but yeah, I’m with thordora she sounds cool.

  5. Gabriel... says:

    Hi Thor… I took a few hours to myself tonight (Tuesday) and it felt like my brain was melting. So nice. I’m taking Wednesday night off as well. I’m really not used to moving at the speed of relationships. I’ve been meeting some of her friends, and she knows all of the people in my building so suddenly everyone’s saying “hi”. People stress me out… having to smile and find something to say stresses me out. Trying to figure out who the fuck they are, and why they’re talking to me stresses me right out.

    I liked baling hay… weird. I was working as a farm-hand back before the round bales, so we’d bring in 5,000 of those little rectangular bales in a day. Weeks outside and all the dry dust you could inhale… good times, baby, good times.

    Hi raino… I’ve actually given her two foot massages in the past week. It’s something else she’s never had. I started off stretching her feet and ankles like she was going running, then started pushing my thumbs into them. I think there’s a piece of me that’s more than happy to find things new to her.

    Meeting her father wasn’t nearly as funny as they make it look in the movies. But if I were him there’s no way I’d make it east either.

    Hi R… thanks. We need to find you some more consonants and maybe some vowels.

    Thanks Gianna… I think the flower thing might be something guys have to learn over time… but if you marry them before they’ve learned the lesson then you’re pretty much SOL unless you tell them it’s necessary to your wellbeing. And even then you might have to promise some sort of reciprocal… I guess “prize”. Maybe something like tickets to a hockey game once in a while.

    I’ve bought women flowers in most of my relationships… not all the time, and not nearly enough, but at least once in a while. But for the women I’ve really cared for I’ve also bought way more practical stuff… like last year, when I was dating M2, she had just started her first job after her divorce so I bought her a couple of “business-friendly” outfits. Weirdly enough she had just lost a large amount of weight as well…

    CSG and I are going to Ottawa for a movie, dinner and a romp through a bookstore so I’ll be bringing flowers to her front door again.

  6. R says:

    26 lead soldiers aren’t enough for me to play with? I have to learn Cyrillic, Hebrew, Arabic, or Greek or runes or something?

    I’m R here because I’m R on exactscience (and other blogs to which it links) because that’s how the exactscientist referred to me before I started posting comments. I try to keep all my bipolar eggs in one identity basket. It’s a tiny bit of data hygiene.

    I can use my given name over here if you really want. You presumably have it from my email address in any case.

  7. Anon Anon says:

    Some people think flowers are cliche. I don’t, but some people do.

  8. Lydia says:

    Congratulations and have FUN!

  9. Clare says:

    This entry had me smiling all the way through. It’s the sweetest thang you got going there. 🙂

  10. animar says:

    When my husband and I first started dating he bought me books.
    I love books.
    So, it’s twenty years he still buys me books.
    Some things are meant to be.

  11. Woodsy says:

    I don’t like getting flowers… it’s a long story with many footnotes. But, I love giving flowers. Funny person that I am…

    p.s. you strike me as being e a true gentleman.

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