Over the past three days I’ve been getting progressively more freaked out because someone has been spending a lot of time reading my blog. Like, a lot of time… as in, by the time I’ve published this post, the person will have read everything I’ve written on Salted.
That’s 287 posts… in three days, at an average of 1000 words per post. And not one comment. A couple of years ago someone did pretty much the same thing and I shut my blog down for a week. I turned the privacy settings up to maximum last night, hoping they’d piss off, but when I turned it back down to normal, there they were again.
When I was still running my “news” blog I really enjoyed watching the blog counter tick upwards. Not so much with this one. I keep thinking it’s inevitable I’ll see pieces of my life used as storylines in Law & Order, or CSI… or, worse, a Canadian TV drama, or a Canadian indie movie starring Sarah Polley.
They’re still going, whoever they are… they just ripped through five posts in less than a minute.
My “news” blog, by the way, was only updated regularly for four months, I stopped using it two years ago, and it still gets twice the “hits” as Salted.
There’s something irrationally depressing about that. I need the feedback an open blog provides, but without the privacy protection I get paranoid when too many people read this blog… or when one person rips through every post.
Anyway. If you’ve recently taken an extended stroll through my little blog, for whatever reason, you’re more than welcome to leave a comment anywhere you wish.
In other news… my son is having his baptism this weekend. Like the circumcision, this is something my girlfriend wants to have done, and I can’t think of a serious objection worth bringing up.
My brother, dumbwaiter, will be Victor’s godfather. My girlfriend’s older sister will be godmother. Without looking it up on Wikipedia, I have no idea what either title means. Some of my family is attending, some aren’t. I have no idea, really, what’s going on with the people who make up my family these days.
My uncle stopped me on the street a few days ago to tell me he and his wife wouldn’t be there. He didn’t really have an answer when I asked why. There is cake afterwards, so you’d think that’d be an enticement.
I’m fairly confident my grandmother won’t be there. Partially because she hates churches, and religion, but I think it’d be a little awkward being at the baptism of a baby she’d rather have been aborted.
Besides, her COPD has also been getting worse lately.
My girlfriend’s immediate family will be there. This will be the first time her parents, my parents, my brother, her sister and my grandfather will all be in the same room together.
It’ll be awkward, but it’ll be over in a couple of hours. It’ll be interesting, I’ll be wearing a suit for the first time since my brothers wedding last year. So this will be the first time my girlfriend, and her parents, will be seeing me all adult-like and shit. I’m even getting a haircut, and I’m shaving… not to the skin though, just to the stubble — I have no problem admitting I’m French.
Victor, meanwhile, will be wrapped in the same blanket my mother was baptized in, which is also the same blanket I was baptized in…
…in case anyone’s keeping track, the anti-imperialist, Marxist cult of danger and doom I grew up in didn’t have time for baptisms. Which is why my younger brother wasn’t baptized until after we escaped. I managed to get my head wet because the Cult was still a twinkle in my father’s eye when I was born.
When my brother was ten, maybe nine, he found out I had been baptized, and he hadn’t. We were staying at my grandfather’s farm up in the mountains of Quebec… I think there was a lightning storm. My brother got concerned and threw a little fit… so our grandmother baptized him in the sink.
And it was legal… or whatever. It counted. My grandmother was a nurse back in the 1940’s and 50’s, and when a child was dying, she was allowed to do baptisms and, I think, last rites, if the Priest wasn’t around.
I’m not sure what Christ, or St. Peter, would say to someone standing before them who had been baptized, or given their last rites, by my grandmother… but I’m pretty sure it’d start with “What the fuck? uhm… dude, you are in exactly the wrong place.”
I’m not religious. To be honest, I’d prefer this wasn’t happening, but I don’t see any harm in going through with it… personally, I don’t like it when people who don’t believe get involved with religion. Like a snake charmer taking communion. Or taking an extra four wives just because you’re in Salt Lake City.
Oddly enough, however, I am my step-sister’s godfather…
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No baptisms here. My inlaws were thrilled let me tell you. But it’s important to me they make the decision when they’re older.
Good luck tho. I love the continuation of the blanket. That’s lovely.
I love the video. He looks so bright and healthy and well-loved. And I love how expressive he is – especially his forehead.
As for the mysterious visitor, have you considered the possibility it’s a robot crawling and indexing your site?
The mass post reading would freak me out as well.
Love the picture of the flowers!
My daughter isn’t baptized. I’ve had nightmares that my MIL baptized her behind our backs. Silly.
Any person can baptise another… As long as the person being baptized believes. A god parent is responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the child … now you know.
I’m not big on commenting on blog posts…and I gotta say, it is in the realm of possibility that I’ve read entire blogs and not left comments *blush*I’m pretty sure I haven’t done that to you, though!
I’m just weird. And insecure. And anti social…but I do enjoy your blog! I feel a certain kinship with you and can relate to almost everything you write about. Its like you are the bi polar brother I never had but always wanted.
I check back alllll the time for updates on your recovery (not to mention your ADORABLE Victor!) and you are in my thoughts.
Ack. I suck at commenting :S
I’m not sure what to say though I am the mystery reader….I was not leaving comments because I have absolutely no clue as to what to write.
I was shown a few blogs once before ….I just did not shut off my comp this time….and I was skimming the titles as and checking the pics….I did not read all blogs….it gave me something to do while I could not sleep
I’ve never commented before…but I enjoy reading your blog and subscribe to it in Reader. Thanks for being so open about your bi-polar! It’s encouraging to see that treatment DOES work. I’ve been recently diagnosed with bp II, but am not currently being treated. Hoping I can get on a treatment plan that’ll help but not stiffle my creativity.
Anyway, thanks for not being afraid of the stigma that surrounds mental health issues! : )
I enjoy reading your blog, as always. Gret pic of the baby–He’s gorgeous!
Melissa
(How can you tell someone is reading your blog?)
Whoops… turns out the person checking out every single one of my posts is someone I know. Unfortunately, as well as being someone I know, it’s also someone I kind of hoped wouldn’t see the blog. Awkward.
I think I’m a little disappointed it wasn’t someone from Law & Order.
Hi Melissa, thanks for commenting and welcome to my blog. There are a bunch of tools you can use… I use the free service offered by Site Meter. It’ll tell you how often your blog is visited, which posts are being read….
It also keeps track of daily, monthly and annual stats for your blog. It’s pretty easy to install, you just put the HTML code into a text widget in your sidebar.
Hi Detached… to be honest, I’m not great at commenting on other blogs. I wish I could do it more often, I used to do it more often. It’s the past few months, I’ve found it difficult to concentrate on writing anything in general… but trying to offer coherent advice or council on someone else’s recovery blog has been just nearly impossible.
I checked, and your comments have been infrequent, but worth reading… thanks.
Hello Dionne… and welcome to my blog, thanks for commenting. You’ve brought up an interesting point, a friend nominated Salted for an award before Christmas, and she placed it in their Health section. But, a day later, the awards people moved my blog to the Parenting section.
Ever since I’ve been wondering if people still read this as a recovery blog, or as something else. I’ve noticed something over the past three years, and it’s that people who are blogging about their mental illness, stop blogging when they’re feeling better.
I’ve always thought it was a shame, because ‘feeling better’, or becoming more involved in the world around us, is just another stage of recovery, it’s not Recovery itself.
…so, thanks for saying what you said. The first step I’d suggest you take, is go back to the person who diagnosed you and ask for the options. Thanks again, Dionne.
I often go through and read blogs from the beginning and it often takes hours. I have some blogs I comment on and some I just read and never comment on (although honestly the ones I don’t comment on I’m reading more for the train wreck quality of entertainment they provide). I really enjoy your blog. I have a son with BP and he is about to go on Depakote or Lithium in the next month.
wow, i’m glad you found out who was reading your blog. i’ve moved mine around and thought about shutting it down because of that so many times. if they’d just come out and tell me who they were…
ah, well. i’m glad you’re still blogging.
Hi Gabe,
After reading this post, I thought I’d be sure to comment on this one! I just recently found your blog, through another blogger who listed you on her site. Sometimes when I like a particular blog, I go and read the others on that person’s favorites list … figuring I might find another one to which I relate.
I suffer from a combination of “issues” including my current work to recover from another cycle of Depression. I find what you write to be informative, thoughtful, and insightful … it has been a comfort to me already a couple of times.
So I wanted to tell you why you might “see” me lurking about and reading different posts, even the old ones. You’re a great writer, so I think it’s to be expected 🙂