Salted Lithium Recovery Week One Hundred and Eighty-Two
This is the time of year I hate. It is officially Lithium Headache Season, and I’m barely surviving in between the time it takes me to empty a jug of cold water down my throat, and the time it takes the jug of new water to get cold while sitting in my freezer.
When I was a young dude I worked through the summer picking stones and baling hay, and I never brought a water bottle into the field. If I was lucky the farmer would bring a cooler. On a few occasions I used the steel bowls the cows drank out of. But I survived entire, hot days on a glass or two of tepid, sometimes filthy water.
Now I get almost as nervous as a crack addict when I pull the jug out of the fridge and there’s only an inch of water in it.
When people taking Lithium get hot, when we’re thirsty and dehydrated, we get headaches. Throbbing, deep headaches, that make remembering difficult and recall almost impossible. It’s because the Lithium concentrates in our blood when we don’t hydrate properly.
Or sometimes even when we do hydrate properly. This is why the blood tests are so important, so our doctor can modify the dose up or down.
Fuck, my head frigging hurts. And my hands are sticky, and my shorts are squishy, and the Lost finale sucked on so many different levels.
Just to interpret… it took me all weekend to write this thing, so wherever you find “this week”, it really means “last week”.
The Lists From Week One Hundred and Eighty-Two:
Five Strangest Search Terms Used To Find Salted Lithium:
5) with a bullet in his back
4) bristol palin love to fuck
3) my grandfather fuckin my grandma
2) being raped with boots
1) fucking beard
Honourable Mentions: rubber duck bathrooms aberdeen; don’t be afraid of lithium
Top Five Salted Posts For Week 182:
5) Got Lithium? Research Says It Reduces Suicide, Inhibits Herpes And Boosts The Brains Grey Matter So Why Isn’t It The First Thing We’re Prescribed?
4) There’s No Art In Manic Depression
3) After Thirty Years Today I Finally Told My Grandmother To Go Fuck Herself
2) Too Much Stuff In My Apartment So I Had To Lose A Tooth To Make Room
1) How Being Raped Has Effected My Sex Life
The Five Blogs I Visited Most This Week:
The Past Week In General:
The Lost finale sucked. That’s pretty much what I remember from last week, and Lost was broadcast on Sunday. So, really, this should be a highlight I remember next Sunday.
Actually, I do remember it got really fucking hot.
I had a pretty good appointment on Friday with my psychiatrist. My girlfriend and I watched “The Defiant Ones”, “A Serious Man”, and “Crazy Heart”… which was awesome, except for Colin Farrell.
Colin Farrell decided at some point between his trailer and stepping in front of the camera — he put that much thought into it, that he’d play a young country-western singer as though he were a cross between Robert DeNiro in “Casino” and Robert DeNiro in “Goodfellas”.
Jeff Bridges, channelling his inner Waylon Jennings, was awesome.
Oh, right, on Saturday my apartment was full of smoke, and when I approached the neighbours to ask them to put their fire out, they freaked out and called me a “liar” because the wind was blowing away from my apartment, a “hypocrite”, and then the dude threatened to tell the police I was molesting his nine-year old daughter.
I swear to God. I have 90% of their raging insanity on camera.
Photo Of My Week:
Coming In Week 183:
A visit to Toys R Us to buy Victor some new toys… I’m starting a search for a cheap air conditioner, I had Victor in my apartment for most of the long weekend, and I think he lost weight. I’m also planning on getting at least a few steps closer to creating the perfect smoothie.
So far my best recipe is half a tub of 0% fat strawberry yogurt (frozen), half a tray of ice, 1/4 bag of mixed frozen berries, two bananas, 1/2 litre 1% milk… liquefy and serve. Should make 4.5 glasses of frozen heaven.
I’m also going to write about my previous appointment with my psychiatrist, and I’ve been planning to write something about my sleep disorder… which will involve several mentions of how much I love Seroquel.
…the “Week In Review” thing is something I used to do on another blog… I’m not sure why I stopped doing them.