Some studies into the biology of manic depression and schizophrenia

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“Certain brain regions in people with major depression are smaller and less dense than those of their healthy counterparts. Now, researchers have traced the genetic reasons for this shrinkage.
“Brain-imaging studies, post-mortem examinations of human brains and animal studies have all found that in depression, a part of the brain called the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex shrinks. The neurons in this region, which is responsible for complex tasks from memory and sensory integration to the planning of actions, are also smaller and less dense in depressed people compared with healthy people.”

‘How Depression Shrinks the Brain’

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“Social isolation in youth may wreak havoc on the brain by disrupting a protein crucial to the development of the nervous system’s support cells, new research finds.
“A new study in mice finds that when the animals are isolated during a crucial early period, brain cells called oligodendrocytes fail to mature properly. Oligodendrocytes build the fatty, insulating sheathes that cushion neurons, and their dysfunction seems to cause long-lasting behavioural changes.
“Some of the myelination changes produced from isolation are also seen in patients with bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, Corfas said, making the project promising for a number of neuropsychiatric disorders.”

‘Mystery of How Social Isolation Messes with Brain Solved’

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“People prone to depression may struggle to organize information about guilt and blame in the brain, new neuroimaging research suggests.
“Crushing guilt is a common symptom of depression, an observation that dates back to Sigmund Freud. Now, a new study finds a communication breakdown between two guilt-associated brain regions in people who have had depression. This so-called “decoupling” of the regions may be why depressed people take small faux pas as evidence that they are complete failures.”

‘Why Some People Blame Themselves for Everything’

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“Schizophrenia symptoms include memory and attention problems, hallucinations, disorganized thinking and behavior and delusions. Psychotic symptoms typically start in late adolescence and early adulthood. But researchers believe that developmental abnormalities they don’t yet know about also increase diabetes risk.
“One recent study – based on data from the Clinical Antipsychotic Trials of Intervention Effectiveness Schizophrenia Trial – showed the prevalence rate of metabolic syndrome, a group of risk factors that include abdominal obesity, high lipid and cholesterol blood levels and insulin resistance, is more than 50 percent in women and about 37 percent in men with schizophrenia.”

‘Diabetes Linked to Schizophrenia’

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“Although less severe, patients with bipolar disorder share many of the same cognitive difficulties as patients with schizophrenia — including problems with identifying facial expressions, emotions and facial gender, according to a new study.
“Past research has shown that people with schizophrenia have clear cognitive deficits with respect to emotional perception.”

‘Bipolar, Schizophrenia Share Similar Emotional Perception Difficulties

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“…researchers collected blood samples from 34 people with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder and analyzed them to study their DNA. Each of the participants belonged to families with a history of mental illness. The scientists were focusing on seeking out people with a NPAS3 mutation, they ended up finding one and carried out a series of blood tests on members of that family, including two parents and four adult children.
“Results showed that the mother who has schizophrenia, as well as her two children with the same disorder and another suffering from depression, all shared the same mutant genetic variation of NPAS3. The mutated version of the gene had one single difference in that an isoleucine took the place of a valine. The authors are not yet sure how this change affects the function of the gene, though.”

‘Gene Associated With Schizophrenia Identified

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Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disease, Bipolar Disorder, Clinical Depression, crazy people with no pants, Diabetes, Health, Living With Depression, Living With Manic Depression, Manic Depression, Mental Health | Tagged | 7 Comments

Back in a minute.

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Turns out moving in with two children, and learning the schedule and eccentricities of another adult, takes time… and patience. And time. So… yeah.

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Posted in Health | 3 Comments

Protected: A short story about someone named Alex

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Protected: Something I wrote a long time ago about someone who doesn’t exist (updated)

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Moving.

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“When I moved from Ottawa to Toronto [in 1998] I had two bags of clothes, some books and a [10-year old] radio. Four or five years later, when I moved [back] I had two bags of clothes, a few more books, a 486 HP computer and the same radio. This, right here, is the longest I’ve ever lived in one place…”
‘The 52 Places I Can Remember Calling Home; October 31, 2007 , Me.

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Diane and I will begin living together in October. The main difference in my life between now and four months from now… noise and responsibility. The two things I hate most in life: noise and responsibility.

It’s something we’ve been discussing, occasionally, over the past year… she asked last year and I’ve been putting it off.

The problem, for me, has always been money. I asked my ODSP worker last year what would happen if I moved in with my girlfriend and, through his thick, regional French accent, all I heard was “…you’re boned. Half your cheque is taken away, then we tie raw meat to your genitals and release the half-starved rats.”

I finally went back a few weeks ago and had someone at the ODSP office explain the process to me, very slowly and using diagrams. On a bureaucratic level it still makes no sense to me, but I understand the process better now.

Because bureaucracy is inherently evil, if (when) I move in with my girlfriend, the government will take $0.50 off my monthly cheque for every $1 she makes, net.

Does that make sense? Not to me. Why am I being punished for living with my girlfriend, and why is she being punished for living with me?

If we don’t live together, I receive $1,036 through my disability pension.

If we do live together, because she makes minimum wage, I’ll only receive $600 (+/-).

That means, either she’ll be paying my rent every month, or buying all the groceries. Either way, I’m a burden on my minimum wage income girlfriend.

But the Ontario government would be paying my $1,036 if we were never to live together. So the incentive, financially, is to not live together. In which case, the government pays me $1,036.

Does that make sense? That they’d create a system where it makes more financial sense for us to live separately?

They used to have the same system for two people on ODSP who moved in together — in that case both their cheques would be cut and, basically, the two people would receive one cheque. But, either last year or the year before, they stopped doing that.

So now, two disabled people can live together and receive two full incomes.

But, because my girlfriend works in a factory for minimum wage, we can’t.

However… from the minute we’re living together the ODSP system will consider us to be ‘common law’. Which means… from day one she, and the two boys, will be covered under my dental plan, under my drug plan and all of the other ‘perks’ of being disabled in Ontario.

Like a pair of free eyeglasses every two years.

We’ve already made appointments with the dentist for Diane and the boys. Diane needs a root canal done, which would cost $1,200 under her current ‘too poor to have any health insurance’ plan. Right now she’s treating it with Advil and antibiotics. But, with the two of us living together, she’ll be able to go to the dentist four times a year, and have all the fillings she desires — you get a filling, you get a filling, everybody gets a filling!

We’re pretty sure her oldest son is going to need braces. His huge front teeth are coming in, and they look crooked to me. So, living together, we can get the work done.

There are also little weird bonuses that we’d get. Like ODSP will give Diane $100 for having a minimum wage job (!?).

Basically, with the money taken off, and the bonuses applied, I’ll be receiving $860 (+/- but mostly -).

So, once I had all of that explained to me, it just made sense. So I asked Diane if it’s what she wanted, she said yes, and I gave my notice to my landlord last week.

I’ve never lived with a partner… roommates, yes — alcoholic ones, one that huffed aerosols, one that waved a carving knife in my face — but I’ve never asked a woman I was dating to move in with me.

This will be my 53rd address. It’s a nice little place, there are two full-sized bedrooms, then a little half-sized one that I’ll be using as an office. There’s a full, mostly finished basement, half of which is set up for the kids as a play area. The rest is for storage and laundry. There’s also a secluded backyard that turns into a thicket of trees.

The only condition I laid out was that Diane’s relationship with her oldest son had to improve. I actually made that a condition a few months ago, and they are getting along better.

Diane’s a great mother, but she has some behaviours she learned while being abused by her parents. She yells, but when I tell her she’s yelling, she automatically stops yelling and says “I’m not yelling”. To her it’s ‘talking loudly’. And she’s right, she’s not ‘yelling’ yelling, but her ‘talking loudly’ is aggressive and angry. Her father does the same thing… he yells, all the fucking time. But when I called him on it, he dropped it and said “I’m not yelling”.

She also gets aggressive when she’s pissed at her oldest son. Like, she’ll stand right in front of him while she’s telling him “it’s not nice” to do whatever. To a tiny 6-year old that’s like having God standing there, telling you there’s no Heaven for you.

But I explained all of that to her. And she has gotten better. Much better.

I am apprehensive about this, mostly because I’ve got a great apartment right now — the windows are falling out, there’s no insulation and the toilet runs constantly, but it’s cheaper than dirt, and I can see mountains and a river and trees and rooftops from my balcony. I can also kick everyone out on a whim and have an entire, quiet, apartment to myself for as long as I want.

Having never lived with a partner before, I’m assuming I won’t be allowed to that.

Plus, I’ve lived here for almost eight years. Before living here, the average time I’d ever lived anywhere was less than six months.

…shit just got real, y’all.

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Posted in Bipolar, Clinical Depression, crazy people with no pants, Health, Lithium, Living With Depression, Living With Manic Depression, Manic Depression, Mental Health, Poverty | 8 Comments

Monday Mental Movie Night: Mary & Max

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“[Mary & Max] deals with themes including childhood neglect, friendship, the obscurity of life, teasing, loneliness, autism (Asperger syndrome in particular), obesity, depression and anxiety.” — Wikipedia

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A very odd, very unlikely animated film from Australia that manages to be sickly-cute, alarmingly grotesque, and right-on at the same time – often in the very same scene.
‘Mary & Max’ review; October 2010, The Guardian

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I love movies. Specifically, I love really good movies. In fact, five years ago, I wrote five huge posts all about my favourite movies.

It’s something I should update, because I have seen some spectacular movies since then. Including one intimate, claymation movie called ‘Mary & Max’.

I tend to stay away from movies that market themselves as being about “mental illness”, because Hollywood generally takes mental illness far too seriously.

That might sound odd, but when you make a piece of art about the disease, it generally comes out entirely wrong because everyone’s reaction and recovery from disease is unique. The disease itself is generally uninteresting as art, it’s how we react to the diagnosis and how we fight against it that I find interesting.

A movie like ‘Prozac Nation’ for example, spends the entire ninety minutes explaining to us how bad off Christina Ricci is… here’s Christina fighting with her mother; here’s Christina behaving badly at school; here’s Christina losing another friend; hey look, here’s a totally gratuitous five minute long camera pan over Christina’s breasts.

It’s been forever plus a day since I saw ‘Prozac’, but I had been so excited to see it because, to be honest, back then there were very few movies available for people with a mental illness to connect with.

…it’s like, back in the day, teh gayz had to adopt non-gay characters in movies, because there were so very few overtly gay characters. Prozac Nation tries to depict someone who is depressed, not someone with manic depression, but I was willing to watch for my behaviours in the main character, and desperately wanted to see some solutions.

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From Variety Magazine: “…[Prozac Nation] can’t really get inside her character’s head to meaningfully explore the condition upon which it lavishes so much attention, a malaise about which the filmmakers are far more fascinated than they are ever able to persuade the viewer to be.”

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And I saw very little of myself in the movie. But again, I did get to see Christina’s boobs. So I guess that was cool.

‘Michael Clayton’, on the other hand, was fantastic. The secondary character, someone with manic depression who stopped taking their lithium, was played perfectly by Tom Wilkinson. I was more interested in Tom’s character than I was in George Clooney, although George played the exasperated friend perfectly in his scenes with Tom.

So… I found this weird little Australian claymation movie a few months ago, called ‘Mary & Max’ — it’s about a young Australian girl being raised by an absentee father and an alcoholic, abusive mother, and; her accidental pen pal — a much older, autistic, overweight, chronically depressed, anxiety ridden, chocoholic, New Yorker shut in.

And it’s brilliant… like a mirror.

Unlike most movies with mental illness as a theme, the main characters in ‘Mary & Max’ are easy for me to identify with because their behaviours (at least some of them) and the lives they lead (at least some parts of them) remind me of the things I’ve had to work through, and how difficult it all was.

This movie managed to show me pieces of my childhood through some of the experiences of Mary, and some of the long term results of those experiences through Max.

It’s narrated by Barry Humphries, the comedian who plays Dame Edna Everage, and stars the voices of Philip Seymour Hoffman, Toni Collette, Eric Bana and Bethany Whitmore. It’s written and directed by Adam Elliot and produced by Melanie Coombs.

Mary & Max won the Grand Prize for Best Animated Feature at the 2009 Ottawa International Animation Festival… which is kind of a really big deal.

…with all of the success of ‘Mary & Max’, I assume there’s a prequel in the works. Maybe something along the lines of ‘Max & Mr. Ravioli’ …which, once you see ‘Mary & Max’, you’ll know why a) the idea on its own is funny, and; b) why that’d be really, really fun to see.

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3 Quotes from Mary & Max

1. Max: “When I was young, I invented an invisible friend called Mr Ravioli. My psychiatrist says I don’t need him anymore, so he just sits in the corner and reads.”

2. Narrator: Max hoped Mary would write again. He’d always wanted a friend. A friend that wasn’t invisible, a pet or rubber figurine.

3. Max: “I was born Jewish and used to believe in God but I’ve since read many books that have proven God is just a figment of my imagination. People like to believe in God ’cause it answers difficult questions, like where did the universe came from, do worms go to heaven and why do old ladies have blue hair. And even though I’m an atheist, I still wear my yarmulke as it keeps my brain warm.”

Rotten Tomatoes Rank: 94%

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[YouTube Alert] Watch The Official Trailer Here:

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Mary & Max Links:

1. Writer and director Adam Elliot and producer Melanie Coombs.
2. Melodrama Pictures
3. Legit ‘Mary & Max’ downloads: Netflix; Amazon; iTunes
4. Adam Elliot’s YouTube account
5. Adam Elliott and Melanie Coombs discuss Mary & Max at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival
6. The Official Mary & Max site
7. Toronto Star (Canada’s largest circulation daily newspaper) review.

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My [original] Favourite Twenty-Five Movies
(because ten would be stupid and thirty would be fucking annoying) [posts]

The First Five: Bladerunner (Directors Cut) (1992) (Daryl Hannah, Rutger Hauer); Tora, Tora, Tora (1970); All The Presidents Men (1974) (Robert Redford, Dustin Hoffman); Our Lady of The Assassins (2002); Se7en (1995) (Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt).

The Second Five: The Americanization of Emily (1964) b/w (James Garner, Julie Andrews); Giant (1956) (Rock Hudson, James Dean, Liz Taylor); The Prophecy (1995) (Christopher Walkin, Eric Stoltz); The Filth And The Fury (2002) (Sex Pistols — doc.); Network (1976) (Peter Finch, Faye Dunaway, Robert Duvall)

The Third Five: Pi (π) (1998) b/w (Sean Gullette, Mark Margolis); Apocalypse Now (Redux) (1979) (Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall); The Killing Fields (1984) (Sam Waterston, Haing S. Ngor, Spalding Gray); Cool Hand Luke (1967) (Paul Newman, George Kennedy); Lawrence of Arabia (1962) (Peter O’Toole, Omar Sharif).

The Fourth Five: Run Lola Run (1998) (Franka Potente, Moritz Bleibtreu); Three Days of The Condor (1975) (Robert Redford, Faye Dunaway); City Of Ghosts (2002) (Matt Dillon, James Cahn); Touching The Void (2003) (Joe Simpson, Simon Yates); The Third Man (1949) b/w (Orson Welles, Joseph Cotton).

The Fifth Five: Once Were Warriors (1994) (Rena Owen, Temuera Morrison); The Great Dictator (1940) (Charlie Chaplin, Paulette Goddard); The Devil’s Rejects (2005) (Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon); The Thing (1982) (Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley); Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) (Yun-Fat Chow, Michelle Yeoh).

…check the posts out, there are actual movie conversations on each one. Or we can start one here…

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Posted in crazy people with no pants, Entertainment, Health, Lithium, Living With Depression, Living With Manic Depression, Mental Health, Mental Movie Night, Movies, No Post Day | Tagged | 8 Comments