My regular appointment with my psychiatrist is in… eleven hours and I’ve been up all night working on another anniversary post thing. So I think I still have time for a decent sleep and a shower. Although I haven’t confirmed a ride yet…
Something he asked me to do was to think of someone I trust. Someone I feel comfortable with. It has to do with the EMDR thing we started a few weeks ago. The general idea, as I remember it, is to have this someone in mind as I work the knots out of my memories and clinical depressions.
I think it’s meant to work something like a spirit guide… or not. A force of good while I deal with the worst stuff. I do remember it can be a fictional character, or someone I’ve never met, or someone I know.
So, at the moment, I have two selections. One is Arizona Ames. He’s a recurring character in books written by Zane Grey. The other is my step-father. Watching my step-father with his kids, and having to come to know his character over the past… almost twenty years, he’s pretty much my ideal image of what a “father” should be.
When I was 12, 13 and 14-years old Arizona Ames, and Grey’s other characters (the heroes were mostly the same), were my vision of the ideal man. I was thinking about this earlier this week… about how the fictional characters in books and movies filled the void from not having a father around.
Arizona Ames, according to the back cover, “didn’t talk much — didn’t even drink and swear the way the others did. But the old-timers knew enough not to tangle with him. Back in the Tonto Basin, they were still talking about the time he’d shot three gunslingers while lying wounded on a saloon floor.”
The first time I remember seeing my step-father was about a year before he and mom started dating. I was on my way home from high school and stopped to watch him and his two children (5,4) building a playhouse. I can remember just being hit with the understanding “this is what a father does”. Blew me away.
If I ever have kids it’s his example I’ll be trying to live up to. Anyway… suddenly this is the longest No Post Day in history.
So my question, for anyone willing to play along, is:
Who, or what, would be your spirit guide and keep you safe as you walked through the not-so-fun pieces of your past?
Bonus points: Who is your favourite fictional character, and why?