Three Movies A New Game And A 1500 Calorie Lunch

When I need rides to appointments, or to get some groceries, I have to rely on the good graces of friends and family. This almost always means I’ll have a lot of time to wander around while they finish doing whatever it was they needed to get done. So I’ll hangout in bookstores, or the movie section at an electronics store while I wait.

On Friday I was in the next town over so I could print off photos of my girlfriend and her son for her Mother’s day gift, which took ten minutes… so I had 2.5 hours to blow off while my own mother went to her workout and took her mother out for a hearing test.

You can buy movies pretty much anywhere now. Even the gas station down the street has a large selection of used DVD’s, and I’ve found some of my favourites in there… like “Mississippi Burning” and “The Station Agent”.

So while I waited for mom, I wandered between the movie sections of two large box stores trying to find the coolest possible movies for the lowest possible price.

And I found a bunch of them… most stores selling movies today have different price-points, and their systems always seem totally arbitrary. Like one store was selling John Woo’s “Windtalkers”, one of the worst movies of all time, for $10, meanwhile “The Kid Stays In The Picture”, the critically acclaimed documentary about legendary Hollywood producer Robert Evans could have been mine for $2.99.

I didn’t get it though. Next time, there were a lot of copies.

“Laws Of Attraction”, with Pierce Brosnan, Julianne Moore, Michael Sheen, as well as “The Ladykillers”, starring Tom Hanks, were also available for ten bucks. It’s like the price scale was inverse to the movie’s goodness.

I even found a copy of “Chisholm ’72: Unbought & Unbossed”, an excellent documentary about Shirley Chisholm, the first African-American woman elected to Congress, and the first African-American to be on the ballot as a candidate for President of the United States. For $2.99 it could have been mine.

This has to be the most obscure and out-of-place film I’ve found in this area. Until now I thought “Pi”, “Tora! Tora! Tora!” and “Reefer Madness” would stand up as the movies I’ve found in the strangest places, but a documentary about an American black woman who ran for public office 37-years ago winding up in the electronics section of a Zellers in a 99.99% white, 90% French speaking region, with a 35% illiteracy rate, is just off the freaking hook.

Who possibly would have made that call? Who called the distributer and, in French, said they just had to have that documentary about Shirley Chisholm?

I should have bought it… but I was on a budget, and there were at least ten copies so I think it’ll be there the next time I can get a ride.

The movies I did end up buying were all in the $4.99 range, and at least two of them would rank pretty high on the “obscurity scale”.

Logan’s Run (1976) (Michael York, Farrah Fawcett, Peter Ustinov) Based on the 1967 science-fiction novel written by William Nolan and George Clayton Johnson. The first two times I saw this movie the television station didn’t “modify the movie” so it would fit the TV screen, so everyone and everything was stretched and at least a third of the action happened off screen, but I still loved it. Probably because of Farrah at first, but I was in my really early teens so chances are I just really liked the idea of everyone over thirty being killed off.

The Day After (1983) (Jason Robards, Steve Guttenberg, JoBeth Williams) Probably one of the most influential movies of all time… and it stars Steve Guttenberg. Which is just bizarre. It was originally a TV event movie, and showed — in graphic detail — what would happen the day after a nuclear exchange between America and the USSR. Basically, hot shot, in thirty minutes the missiles land… after that everything’s glass. What do you do? What do you do?

“The Day After” actually influenced USA v. USSR nuclear policy, including the signing of treaties banning several types of missiles. The unofficial sequel meanwhile, the godawful “The Day After Tomorrow”, sucked donkey balls.

…there was a book published a year earlier I’ve been searching for called “This is the way the world will end, this is the way you will end, unless…” which scientifically documents the effects of a nuclear bomb landing on New York, London, Paris and Moscow. If you’ve got it, and you’d be willing to part with it, let me know.

Heaven’s Burning (1997) (Russell Crowe, His Sideburns, Youki Kudoh) I don’t know much about this movie. I’ve only seen a few ten minute chunks of it over one evening, and without the sound. But it looked cool. It’s basically a chase movie through the back country of Australia… it didn’t do so well in the reviews. But there are loud cars, lots of guns and Russell Crowe’s insane sideburns.

A bar I used to frequent in Toronto, the Bovine Sex Club, had two televisions over the bar, and they’d have theme nights. So one night they had “Romper Stomper” on one TV, and Heaven’s Burning on the other.

I believe the theme that night was Australian Ultra Violence. Cool bar. At least until they hired the doormen.

I haven’t had many chances recently to see new releases, but I do love movies… I wrote a post two years ago about my favourite twenty-five movies. It’s still pretty accurate… you know, if you wanted to take a look. There’s pie.

I also picked up a game for my PS3 called “Motor Storm”. My girlfriend mentioned last week she likes the racing games, and this is one of the better ones. It’s pretty violent as well, so that should be good.

After buying my girlfriend her Mother’s Day gifts — a large six-photo frame, thirty photos I’ve taken of her and her son, a cool little photo album, and an ultra-violent video game — I was supposed to meet my mom at McDonald’s.

I was trapped in an area where the only lunch options were an overpriced box store restaurant and McDee’s. So I ordered my first Big Mac in over a year… maybe two. And it tasted exactly the same as the very first one I had when I was eight. Remarkable.

I’m not sure if it’s because of a new law, but McDonald’s is finally publishing the nutritional content of their food… at least in Canada. It’s on the back of the placemat… and I kept mine if anyone’s interested in counting McCalorie’s. Mine’s in French of course, but from what I can make out my Big Mac had 540 calories, the medium fries had 360, my medium Diet Coke had one and my small chocolate milkshake came in at 560.

So my least satisfying meal in years came in at 1461 calories… if I had any idea what that meant I think I’d be astonished.

No wonder they never wanted to publish this stuff.



About Gabriel...

...diagnosed with manic depression when I was nineteen, for the next 14-years I lived without treatment or a recovery plan. I've been homeless, one time I graduated college, I've won awards for reporting on Internet privacy issues, and a weekly humour column. In 2002 I finally hit bottom and found help. It's now 2022, and I have an 8-year old son, and a 12-year old son... I’m usually about six feet tall, and I'm pretty sure I screwed up my book deal. I mostly blog at
This entry was posted in Bipolar, crazy people with no pants, Diabetes, Entertainment, Health, Living With Depression, Living With Manic Depression, Manic Depression, Movies. Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to Three Movies A New Game And A 1500 Calorie Lunch

  1. bipolarlife says:

    I love Logan’s Run. Have to check that out again.

    And if I was stuck on a subway that can’t stop ’cause it would blow, I’d tell Keanu to take off his shirt and shut the hell up. I’d save the day and he could be my bitch.

  2. dumbwaiter says:

    A couple of things…. Firstly.. The calories :
    Please keep in mind that I have designed several “Eat Smart” menus.
    This is how you calculate your proper diet and how many calories you should be eating.
    If you want to lose fat safely… You should be eating 1 gram of protein per pound of your current weight. 1 gram of protein has 4 calories. You should also be eating 2 grams of carbohydrates per current pound also with 4 calories per gram…
    And .4…. That’s point four…. Grams of fat per current pound…. Each gram of fat carries 9 calories.
    This means that a 220 pound man trying to lose fat should be eating 88 grams of fat per day 220 grams of protein and 440 grams of carbohydrates for a total of 3432 calories per day.

    With moderate cardiovascular exersize of 45 minutes per week… You will lose 2 lbs a week. Remembering to re calculate your intake of calories per week.

    Secondly…. If the “bomb”shell is a brunette… I stop the train immediately

  3. dumbwaiter says:

    two things quickly…….
    If you are serving yourself… physically putting the food on your own plate… reduce your portion size by half…. if after 1/2 an hour you are still hungry eat again. Guarenteed you won’t be hungry.
    The biggest mistake people make is eating before exersizing. You should eat half an hour to 45 minutes after your cardiovascular workout, otherwise you are just burning the calories you just ate… and you’ll be hungry again half an hour after you work out.

    also for you tim horton’s nuts out there… a black coffee, no matter the size has virtually zero calories… however the double cream in a double double has 52 calories per… and the sugar in a double double has 48 calories per that means a double double regardless of size has 200 calories (non-dairy creamer has 33 calories, while artifical sugar such as splenda has 4 calories…. 1 splenda equals the sweetness of 2 sugars…)

    p.s. nice picture.

  4. Gabriel... says:

    Hi BPL… personally I think I’d leave Sandra Bullock handcuffed to the post — you know, for her own protection — then we’d assume crash positions. I’m always a little surprised when the dudes and ladies talk about molesting Keanu. I think it’s that weird blank doll-like stare he has, and the smooth face. There’s such a lack of emotion in it, so maybe people assign one to him. He must feel something in there. He’s definitely pretty, though. And he does look good without the shirt… oops, careful, I think I’m being genetically reversed engineered.

    Hello twice, little brother… your knowledge of dietary matters is indeed impressive, you should consider a career in the industry instead of playing online multi-player combat games. Just a suggestion. Maybe, if the hotels aren’t hiring, look into municipal government and school boards… you could be Chef and let the kids eat your famous salty vanilla balls.

  5. Wait, I know this! Shoot the hostage!

  6. thordora says:

    I have 3 movies for May.

    Wolverine-he’s emo, it kinda blew. Sigh.

    Star Trek. All kinds of FUCKING AWESOME and I can’t wait to see it again.

    T4 is out on May 21, and I can’t WAIT.

    No purchases this month, sadly. Living on almost half my prior paycheck, and it blows.

  7. Gabriel... says:

    Oh, no… so sorry, Justin, the answer we were looking for was “A White Russian and Lily Allen with her finger in my ass”. So close. So close. Tsk. I’m afraid your train blew up and your lack of proper action was ultimately blamed for the deaths of dozens of people. Better luck next time.

    Hi Thordora… I’m definitely seeing all three of those movies, probably many many times, but the only one I must see in-theatre is Star Trek. My ODSP cheque is flying out the window in large chunks this month… I picked up three zombie movies for $10 on Sunday, so if you know of anyone willing to buy three zombie movies, let me know.

    If you want to see Wolverine for free, try this… it’s Wolverine In 30 Seconds.

  8. Oh, man, White Russians. That is a smooth fuckin’ drink.

  9. Gabriel... says:

    True that. And all the better when sipped with Lily Allen’s finger stuck firmly up ones bum. So… Friday? Are you still coming up to Stubby Town? I can’t afford anything fancy, so I was thinking maybe some hotdogs cooked with a lighter somewhere downtown… maybe Major’s Hill Park. I’ll bring the sticks.

  10. Gabriel... says:

    bine!! Hi. Depends on how many hotdogs Justin eats, but I think I could put together enough change. If I’m lucky and find a few quarters in the couch. But the problem is more credit than cash… I have no credit cards to be ordering stuff online. Which is probably for the best, otherwise I’d have six dozen of those Snorg Tee’s. Maybe I should make a trade offer…

  11. Lesly says:

    I really want to thank you for answering my question about “following” that I posted on a forum.

    Wow! Your blog is impressive–your honesty and dealings. I am a mom with 3 kids and have been dealing with a chronic pain condition for 2 1/2 years that no one can seem to understand or fix. I imagine you an relate. Any way your blog encourages me to keep writing about my issues. I’m all of 2 1/2 weeks into this.

    Thanks again/

  12. Gabriel... says:

    Hi Lesly, it was my pleasure. And thanks for the compliment, and for coming over to comment. I can definitely relate, and I’ll be over soon to offer some blogs I think could help.

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