My Last Father’s Day As A Spectator

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Today is Father’s Day. It’s a day which has always meant something different to me than most people. Father’s Day for me was always a day to remember something I never had. It has been a day to remember being abandoned. A day where it was always made clear to me I had a father who did not want to share in my life.

Well, this Father’s Day is about something else.

Early Sunday afternoon, probably on the deck at my parents home, I’ll be telling my extended family about my girlfriend’s pregnancy. I hate talking about myself in front of people. Especially when I know there’ll be a whole lot of judging going on. But it has to be done, and doing it on this day makes sense.

So what I’m going to do is stand up, ask for everyone’s attention, and I’m going to say “Today is my last Father’s Day as a spectator. I’m very proud to say [my girlfriend] and I are having a baby.” Maybe some other stuff as well, but I figure that’ll be as much as I can remember.

Then I sit back and plan how I’ll respond on Father’s Day in eighteen years when my incredibly successful daughter hands me the keys to my new Ducati 1098 R Bayliss LE Superbike, and says “Happy Father’s Day… dad.”

.

...thanks.

.

About Gabriel...

...diagnosed with manic depression in 1989, for the next 14-years I lived without treatment or a recovery plan. I've been homeless, one time I graduated college, I've won awards for reporting on Internet privacy issues, and a weekly humour column. In 2002 I finally hit bottom and found help. I have an 8-year old son, and a 4-year old son... I’m usually about six feet tall, and I'm pretty sure I screwed up my book deal. I mostly blog at saltedlithium.com....
This entry was posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disease, Bipolar Disorder, crazy people with no pants, Health, Living With Depression, Living With Manic Depression, Manic Depression, Pregnancy. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to My Last Father’s Day As A Spectator

  1. thordora says:

    Ah, to dream. 😀

    Happy Father’s Day Gabe.

  2. Curried Jane says:

    Happy Father’s Day!

  3. robin says:

    Welcome to the club.

  4. giannakali says:

    happy father’s day daddy…you ain’t no spectator…you got a baby in the oven…it’s happening!

  5. Gabriel... says:

    Thanks everybody… it went really well. My maternal grandmother kept quiet, which was definitely for the best, but my grandfather gave my girlfriend a big hug, my little brother congratulated us and my step-grandmother was very pleased.

    So my girlfriend feels much better now knowing my family is going to be supportive. She and my mom had a couple of conversations about the pregnancy, and the grandmothers pitched in a few ideas as well. I felt nervous as hell when I made my little speech, but overall it was a pretty good day.

  6. unclefucker says:

    You’ll be too old for a motorcycle…. As someone who is younger and better looking….. I’ll drive it… You can watch. Can’t wait to read your blog posts on diaper changing.

  7. Clare says:

    Blessings to you all!

  8. Pingback: Friday Conversations With My Psychiatrist | June 22, 2009 « …salted lithium.

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