In November of 2024 I started filing for divorce against my ‘soon to be ex-wife’ (STBEW) — we’ve been separated since 2015, after our local chapter of Children’s Aid Services (CAS) threatened to put my children — then 5-years old, and nearly 1-year old — into foster care if I didn’t remove them from the abuses put on them and their older brother, by their mother. Over the past ten years, STBEW has been under investigation by CAS for four of them for abuse against her three children (including the two I share with her).

I’m asking the Judge for full custody, decision making over health and schooling, and child support, as well as back payment for the food and things I’ve had to buy for the kids over the last few years… because she stopped contributing to their lives in mid-2022. That means she stopped her week-to-week obligations like regular visitations, feeding them regularly, and paying for her half of new glasses, sports stuff, and school activities. Like, she just stopped participating in everything and left Everything to me and my disability income.

When the boys would start asking where their mother was, I’d have to tell them she was unwell or sick or busy at work or something that didn’t make her look bad… but after my youngest would start crying or acting out, I’d have to call STBEW and ask her to put aside a few hours from her day to visit with him. This generally meant a further two days of crying on my youngest’s part until she rearranged her schedule.

When the visits finally did happen, she would generally bring the boys home early and unfed, so my youngest would be quiet for a little while, then start asking questions about his mother… like “why can’t she spend more time with us?” and “what can’t I call her at 3am when I miss her and can’t sleep?”.

…she actually told my sons that Santa would not be coming to her place on Christmas, because he was dropping all the gifts off at my place. She did that in both December 2023, and 2024.

For years she’s been emotionally, mentally, and physically abusing her oldest son — including leaving him homeless on multiple occasions [more about that here], and screaming at him and her live-in boyfriend in front of my two kids. She has moved four times, to three different postal codes in a span of eleven months. She bought and moved into a house in 2018 (?) with her live-in boyfriend — moving away from Subsidized Housing, then couldn’t afford the maintenance, or the electricity — which was shut off multiple times, and never had an Internet connection, and couldn’t make the payments for the heating. My kids slept on the floor at her place for months during her irregular visitations, her boyfriends’ CPAP Machine broke, so his snoring interrupted my kids’ sleep all the fucking time… she was breeding dogs in their home, one even gave birth on my youngest sons’ bed, which he was expected to sleep on afterwards.

It was always just a fucking mess [more about that here], and it had no end in sight — there was even a night in 2024 where she called the police because her oldest son had attacked her boyfriend, while my oldest was there… I took both boys home with me, and I finally had enough of it… specifically while she and her boyfriend were in the process of being foreclosed on, and they were being kicked out of their home, and started talking about moving away from this area to a little city an hour away. They were actually thinking they could both keep their fulltime jobs here, and commute the boys to school in the morning and back in the afternoon with their one car.

That was it for me, and I finally called a lawyer in November, 2024, to get the divorce started… or, at least modify the ten-year old Separation Agreement that she was supposed to be following, but never did, with the intention of having STBEW see the kids more often. At the same time, I was actually trying to help them find a place to live around here… I was also giving them rides to work, because they lost their SUV to an engine failure, and I was also giving the kids rides to school and back from her place.

Since then she and her boyfriend found a place to live in our little community a few months after Christmas, 2025 — a small, two-bedroom for her, him, my two kids, her oldest boy, their three totally untrained dogs, where the kids were, again, sleeping on the floor… after a few more months, she and her boyfriend again couldn’t afford the rent, so in mid-August, 2025, they moved in next door with a Newfound Friend and her own three children. So, including STBEW’s oldest sons’ girlfriend, there were eight people, and their dogs, in a small four-bedroom duplex and STBEW and her boyfriend’s names were NOT on the lease. Which is, really, just fucking nuts.

And the yelling continued, except now the Newfound Friend was yelling as well, because STBEW and her boyfriend were not contributing to cleaning up, and had moved two storage units worth of garbage into her home, with no real plan to get rid of the shit STBEW has been obsessively hoarding since before we separated. STBEW also stopped working back in May, 2025, leaving the bills to be paid by her boyfriend, who works as a low-wage Customer Service Manager at a local warehouse store. Which meant she became a shut-in, which just started more difficulties with her Newfound Friend.

And now STBEW’s looking for a new place to live. At the moment, everyone stays in their own room, not talking, not eating with each other, and leaving passive aggressive notes above the sink about doing the dishes and paying bills. My oldest son, hates Newfound Friend’s oldest son, and refuses to leave his room. My youngest son, does play with her youngest one, but he knows there’s a lot going on that’s just messed up.

So, after putting together the mountain of paperwork with my lawyer, and having to relive all of the stress and the years of abuse STBEW put on my sons and myself, the paperwork was finally served to STBEW in August, actually it was on her birthday. Which I didn’t plan. According to the process server, STBEW nearly collapsed when she explained what I was asking for… but, really, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Let my kids sleep on the floors of barely inhabitable mold-filled apartments? Before moving in with her Newfound Friend, her apartment had no insulation, and the window in the front door had been replaced by cardboard, and her other neighbour’s family were all heavy smokers… so everyone in STBEW’s home was constantly inhaling the second-hand smoke equivalent of two packs a day.

Seriously, what the fuck was I supposed to do? I need her to take responsibility for her visitations, and her half of the associated costs of raising our sons.

What she did in response was to have me charged with assault, for something that never happened. Two weeks after she was served with the paperwork, I received a call from the police telling me I was being charged with ‘Assault With A Weapon x1’, and they wanted me to come down to Police HQ to give a statement. I immediately called my lawyer, who immediately recommended a defence lawyer, who I immediately called… she told me the Police were not my friends, and I should be careful. So I drove down to Police HQ and listened to their synopsis of the ridiculous, half-baked statement STBEW had made… and I reacted, in real time, with horror and pure astonishment… it was mind-numbing and I was actually fingerprinted and had a mug shot taken.

But she couldn’t remember the year she claimed the Event took place — according to her it was either in 2012, 2013, or 2014, she had no physical or medical proof of her claim but, according to her, I banged her head multiple times against a kitchen counter causing a concussion, then held a piece of glass against her neck, and cut her.

None of this happened. Not in 2012, not in 2013, and not in 2014. It never happened. This series of events that she says I’ve done, never happened, it never fucking happened. There was no head banging, there was no shard of glass, and there was no blood.

I know this never happened, because I can remember exactly what did happen. Unfortunately, I can’t write about it yet because I have court dates coming up for both the Divorce and the preliminary crap regarding the Assault case.

But I will say this about That, I do know that I’m trying to do the best I can for my kids, including trying to get their mother to see them more often — or at least for her to follow the original Separation Agreement, and she’s responding with horseshit and threats. And the yelling and abuse continues, even to the point where my youngest was filled with stress and anxiety for the first two-months of school this semester, and would cry and shake in the morning when it came time for school.

…she has done nothing but abuse my two kids, her oldest child, her boyfriend, and myself for years and years and years, and I know that because it has been proven in court time and time again. And I’m trying my best to keep her from continuing the abuses into the future… even if she doesn’t want to stop.