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Natalia Antonova
Natalia Antonova- My father’s greatest hits and misses
- The Longest
- I’m a Rape Survivor With #MeToo Fatigue: Here’s Why
- Matilda’s New Digs: An October Ghost Story
- In memory of Mikhail Ugarov
- I talked about abuse and made you uncomfortable? Good.
- Mirrors eat remaining light
- My theory of seamless love
- “Do Marines like cake?” “Does God have a butt?” Conversations with a five-year-old
- Laura Palmer and the end of the world: news of note from me
- Pied Type
- FishRobber
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- This Girl’s Got Curves
- Ride On My Mood Swing
- Behind the Mask
- Delusional Predisposition
- I Got Sick Sitting by Myself
- My Anxiety Caused Motion Sickness and Other Shituations…
- Medications: Part Fourteen
- My Car Traumas
- How Mental Illness Affected my Ability to Think
- What I’ve Learned Advocating for Myself in Healthcare (and more!)
- My Automatic Self Loathing Has Been Quelled
- My Rheumatologist Appointment Went Terribly…
- I Did DNA Testing and Holy S#!t
- Memories and a Reaction
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knit nut
- knit nut
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- NeuroLogica Blog
- Evolving AI
- We Need to Ditch Gerrymandering
- Release the Kraken
- A Unique Case of Psychogenic Blindness and Multiple Personality
- What’s With the Dead or Missing Scientists
- The Prospect of Regenerating Limbs
- AI May Disrupt The Internet
- Do You Have Video Game Skilz?
- Genetically Engineered Pets Are Coming
- Are Genetically Engineered Humans Coming
- Science-Based Medicine
- Scientific Censor Dr. Jay Bhattacharya Doesn’t Realize He’s the Medical Establishment Now & It’s His Job to Generate Evidence for the American People
- A Tale of Two Books: We Want Them Infected & In COVID’s Wake
- PNAS Publishes Rank Pseudoscience
- Not Mine
- The myth of the magically powerful placebo returns
- The MAHA Amnesia Project
- The COVID Amnesia Project III: The Plot to Erase Who Ordered Lockdowns in 2020
- New Review Casts Doubt On Alzheimers Drugs But Is Controversial
- SCOTUS conversion therapy decision “opens a dangerous can of worms”
- KevinMD platforms criticism of MAHA by a “functional medicine” practitioner
- skeptic insight
- The Mystery of Missing and Dead Scientists, Explained
- Desmond Morris (1928–2026): A Keen Observer of the Human Condition
- The Strange Case of Bob Lazar
- Does Prayer Work?
- A Secular Case for the Miraculous
- The Sexual Pseudoscience of Telegony: How a Discredited Theory of Heredity Returned to Control Female Agency
- Is Iran America’s Holy War?
- The Good Side of Virtue Signaling
- Yes, We Have No Free Will
- The Peptide Craze: Biohacking and Human Guinea Pigs
- Respectful Insolence
- MAHA: The “we’re not antivax” mask has been dropped
- The Four Horseman of the Woo-pocalypse join President Trump to spread autism pseudoscience and quackery
- America’s Quack (now CMS Administrator) Dr. Oz goes authoritarian quack…again
- Dr. Pierre Kory promotes an old lie about vaccines and SIDS
- “Voices of the Vaccine-injured”: Old school antivax nonsense on steroids
- Antivaxxers will testify before a Senate committee…again
- Shameless self-promotion better late than never: Anti-Vax America
- RFK Jr. guts ACIP to pack it with antivaxxers
- Scott Adams vs. a cancer quack
- The soft eugenics of MAHA: RFK Jr. on autism and Dr. Oz on your patriotic duty to be healthy
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Patient Anonymous
- PatAnon: Purple Ninja
- The She Chronicles
- Seaneen
- Still Not Dead (Sorry, Dom)
- Our Mummy, Marie Molloy: 1957 – 2023
- How #TheGoodPlace Is Helping Me Face My Fear of Death
- Listen to our Christmas Mental Health Survival Guide: Access All podcast
- Derry Girls taught me the joy of feeling seen
- The Thawed Mother
- From calm to crisis – new BBC Ouch episode from me and Mark
- Mentally Interesting podcast – Episode 2: Shame
- Tell me your postnatal anxiety stories?
- Pregnant and mental in a pandemic. Not my best laid plan…
- Don’t Drink & Don’t Die
- The Underground Bunker
- Q patriots eat it up: Trump says ‘affordability’ is a line of bull–
- Read Scientology’s pitch for the Clearwater street it wants shut down for its Vatican
- Q patriots cheer as Trump puts his name on your $5 gallon of gas
- Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard’s year from hell: His bizarre letter from Cuba
- Q patriots love seeing libturds screech over the gutting of the Voting Rights Act
- Scientology leader David Miscavige is 66 today, and we have presents!
- Five dollar gas? Who cares as long as libturds get owned in their own passports!
- Scientology gets biased boost in East Grinstead, submits new plans in Clearwater
- Hooray, patriots, now the ballroom is for national security, and you’re paying for it
- Scientology’s new building spree: Real expansion, or more baubles to impress donors?
- Neuroskeptic
- Goodbye Discover
- The Erection of a Placebo
- The Invisibility of COVID-19
- Dialogue With Dreamers
- The Man Who Thought AIDS Was All In The Mind
- Are Effect Sizes in Psychology Meaningless?
- Brain Stimulation's Complex Emotional Effects
- A Curiously Written Coronavirus Paper
- Questions from 1920 Still Haunt Neuroscience
- The Ethics of "Human Brain Surrogates"
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Blogs I Follow
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Protected: How Being Raped Has Effected My Sex Life
Posted in Bipolar, Bipolar Disease, Bipolar Disorder, Classic, Clinical Depression, crazy people with no pants, Electronica Music, Health, Industrial Music, Living With Depression, Living With Manic Depression, Manic Depression, Mental Health
Tagged rape
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Ten Pounds Of Lithium And 300 Posts On My Blog Got Me Where I Am Today
This is post number 300. I can’t think of another project I’ve worked harder at, or longer with than this blog…
The longest I’ve ever held a job was eighteen months; I stopped going to high school full time in grade eleven; I quit high school in grade twelve; before I actually graduated I was kicked out of college in my second semester; my longest dating relationship was 2.5 years, and; the band I fronted only lasted four months… which was probably 3.5 months longer than necessary.
I was a couple of years into my recovery when I started this blog. I believe it saved my life… at least in the beginning, I’m not sure what it’s doing to me lately.
I had a depression breakdown starting in 2000, and ending in 2002. Close to the end I was living on less than $100 a month, I was suicidal everyday, and homeless. I had been nearly-homeless before, as well as suicidal, and even lived on $120 / month before, but this time was different in intensity, duration and a complete lack of hope or vision as to how to get out of it, and the money was not guaranteed.
Sitting Outside With My Son Watching Spring Go By
“Your uncle Timmy, and I mean this, on his best day, is never as tough as you. I’m not talking about crying or drugs or anything like that. I’m talking about in his heart. In his heart. Do you understand me? And all this charming bullshit. This Big Tim, Uncle Boss bullshit… and I know you love him and I know why… but when you see him like that you don’t have to worry… because that’s not how it’s going to be for you. You’re not going to be one of these people who goes through life wondering why shit keeps falling out of the sky around them. I know that. I know it. OK?”
“Michael Clayton” (2007); George Clooney, as ‘Clayton’, speaking to his son.
The weather has been clear and warm enough that I’ve been able to sit on my balcony with Victor in the afternoon.
It’s relatively quiet, the main road is on the other side of the building, so the traffic is mostly muted — when there is traffic. We have an incredible view from my chair. The trees haven’t bloomed yet, so I can still see the river, even though it’s ten miles away.
Then there are the mountains another five miles past the river, in another few weeks they’ll be a hundred shades of green, but right now they’re still purple and grey.
It’s very peaceful, just the two of us. He sits on my leg, and rests against my arm. I’m not sure what he can see, or what he’s looking at, but he finds something. Whatever it is it makes him happy to be near it, I’ve never seen or heard of a child who can find so much to laugh at. When he’s awake his natural state is ‘just happy’.
With No Consequences For Her Abuse She Takes Over Once Again
Almost six weeks ago I told my grandmother to go fuck herself. When I was a child I often thought of telling her off, and now that I’ve finally made a complete break from her it feels as though my life is less complicated. Like there’s one less person in my life waving a knife in my face.
The last time I saw her was three days after I jabbed my finger close to her nose, and angrily said what I said. It was my son’s baptism. My mom convinced me there would be too much drama if I told her to stay away, so she showed up at the church and I bit my tongue hard.
There were a lot of abuses, a lot or manipulation in the years leading up to the moment where I felt so much like bashing her head in with her brass lamp. But it was that specific day, and her questions about my baby boy, that finally broke me.
She demanded to know why I hadn’t insisted my girlfriend have an abortion; she told me I probably wasn’t even the father; she demanded I find out the total cost of the pregnancy, as a lesson in why I shouldn’t have allowed it to continue. Then she claimed to have heard I was telling people that, to support my son, I was just gleefully waiting for my grandfather to die.
Bristol Palin Is Pissing Me Off
Maybe it’s the penicillin, maybe it’s the sugar levels in my blood taking a nosedive because I’m off the apple juice, whatever it is I saw a public service announcement about the evils of teen pregnancy starring Bristol Palin and her child, and it just pissed me off.
In the PSA she stands in an upscale condo, with her baby in her arms, wearing her Sunday best pearls, and she asks a series of questions as the camera tracks closer to her face. After the last question the camera pulls back and she’s wearing sloppy clothes, the condo is now a slum, and the baby is walking around with a needle hanging out of his scabby arm.
Or something. Whatever. The point is either we’re supposed to fear being poor outright, or we’re supposed to fear having sex while poor.
From start to finish the entire thirty seconds is filled with exactly the kind of hypocrisy and bullshit pop psychology Sarah Palin — her mother — preaches in front of people who think Glenn Beck is saving America.
Posted in crazy people with no pants, Health, Humor, Humour, Mental Health, No Post Day, Politics, Poverty, Pregnancy
Tagged Bristol Palin, Candies Foundation, Sarah Palin
9 Comments
No Post Day | His Name Is Mok
There are two reasons I’m having a hard time concentrating at the moment… and for several recent moments leading up to this one.
The first is a general lack of sleep and a slow switching of my sleeping schedule. That’s not really new, but aggravating nonetheless.
The second is an abrupt change in what I’ve been drinking. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been cutting way back on the diet pop (root beer), and increasing my juice intake.
But somehow, over the past ten days, I’ve managed to up my daily liquid intake from 2L of pop, 4L of 1%milk, 6-8L of water and 1L of orange juice to nearly 8L of apple juice, 4L of 1%milk, 2L of orange juice and 6L of water.
...salted lithium. 